I’m more than halfway through my hiking goal for the year and I’m still not in love with hiking.
BUT!
July’s Hike may have been a hiking crossroad. I may be approaching a turning point. Maybe!
Table Rock Hike on a tiny portion of the Appalachian Trail in Halifax, Pa.; Courtesy of Courtney Elko
My seventh hike of this 2022 hiking goal took place in Central Pennsylvania on a whopping 2-mile stretch of the Appalachian Trail. It was an out and back trail that totaled about 4.3 miles and had a great viewpoint called Table Rock Viewpoint at the turn-around spot.
It was designated an easy trail. It was mostly shaded by tall trees so the 90+ degree temperatures and humidity were not unbearable. There were small rocks and tree roots embedded in the entire dirt and rock trail and some small rock steps along the way too (which gave me Ice Hike flashbacks). I went with a friend, which kept the walk entertaining as we chatted and caught up on each other’s lives. There were no real dramatics, as my hikes tend to have, and I enjoyed myself for about 3.5 miles.
The trail had plenty of flat parts but also some inclines and some downhills over small rocks that required some foot placement thought. It was easy, yet sort of challenging at the same time. Sort of challenging for a novice hiker like myself. Extremely easy for others!
Related: Hiking is Not Who I Am
But as we approached 3.5 miles, my already slow pace got slower, and I could feel my body starting to turn on me. First it’s my hip flexors, then my knees, then my feet and then it’s my mind. And I want it all to be over!
The last .75 miles I hopped on the struggle bus. My legs became jello and I wanted off the ride. My stomach felt weird, I was not dizzy but just felt weird. I drank a lot of water but was still thirsty and sweating a TON so I like to think that dehydration might have been played a role in my decline. At least that’s what I’m telling myself. Because I was annoyed at myself that this last .75 miles was taking me so long and that I couldn’t finish strong.
It got hard and I wanted to quit. I sat down on a couple rocks along the way to regroup and we would continue on, but I didn’t want to! I wanted to hang out on those rocks for much longer. I wanted to maybe take a nap there for bit and then finish the tiny portion of the trail that was left.
I kept looking at the trail map and would see just how close the end was and get insistently annoyed that I wasn’t scampering up these last set of rocks in hiking delight. The entire hike also took double the time it said it would take on my AllTrails App. Hikes always take me longer than most, and I’m tired of being that girl.
I want to be the girl who doesn’t want to quit at the end. I want to be the girl who isn’t phased by that last .75 miles. I want to be the girl who’s body doesn’t start to decline after 3.5 miles.
Related: Gratitude Hike: Be Present
Table Rock Viewpoint on a tiny portion of the Appalachian Trail in Halifax, Pa.; Courtesy of Courtney Elko
Quit or Conquer?
On hikes and in business, when it gets difficult, I want to quit. But I also want to conquer. It’s a weird and constant dichotomy.
Business gets stressful. Money woes feel overwhelming. Frustration builds and builds. And I want to quit! I want to admit that it’s too hard, move on and go find something easy.
Hiking gets too strenuous (even when a trail isn’t overly strenuous!). Frustration at my body builds and builds. Woes that I’ll never reach the end or that I’ll hurt myself in the process overwhelm my entire hiking experience. And I don’t want to finish. I want to refuse to move any further, and be airlifted from my spot in the woods. Despite being ONLY .75 MILES FROM MY CAR!
The overwhelming want, I’d even say need, to quit in both business and hiking is all-consuming sometimes. Those last .75 miles as I slowly made my way and stopped every few steps to rest, I thought of ways I could “quit.” The same thoughts creep in, in business. I should quit and do this. I could stop struggling if I quit and did this.
But I keep going on.
Because as much as I want to quit, there is an even stronger desire to conquer. That desire lives so far down at the bottom of the mountain sometimes that I can barely hear its tiny cries telling me to keep going. But the desire to conquer is still there.
I want to be the girl who enjoys hiking. I want to be the girl who wouldn’t flinch at a 5+ miles hike. I want to be the girl who comes up with a business idea instead of coming up with ways to quit. I want to be the girl who isn’t bothered by a slow month (or year!), because she knows the future is bigger.
I want to be the girl who doesn’t quit (or doesn’t even think about quitting).
I want to be the girl who conquers.
Which Will It Be?
So while I’m not that girl yet. Not by a long shot. July’s Hike, the Quit or Conquer Hike, showed me the fork in the path.
Will I continue to be the girl who struggles the last .75 miles or will I make the changes to become the girl who finishes strong every time?
I guess we’ll find out in August.
Quit or Conquer Hike No. 7 Lesson: If you’re moving forward, no matter how slowly, you’re conquering.
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